September 11, 2001…my memories

Today, i have been watching, between church services, television coverage of 9-11, then and now. Much of it was coverage I’ve never seen. I was away on a two day trip to Shipshewana, Indiana with a bunch of ladies from church. We’d just finished breakfast and were preparing to check out of our B & B to finish our trip with a day at the big flea market. I think someone had turned on the TV to quickly get some weather, which is how we found out our nation was under attack. We spent some time praying, and continued on, checking out and continuing our plans. Of course, we did not have televisions to watch after that, but all day at the market we did hear snippets of coverage when vendors had radios going. I saw the best in some that day, and the not so good in others. I saw people letting strangers use their cell phones to call family. But as we left town I also saw gas stations raise their gas prices to rediculous, gouging prices. Coming home, we drove through Flint, MI, the city where I had grown up. Driving past the area where Bishop Airport is was so eerie. You don’t know what you just take for granted as background noise that’s barely noticed until it’s not there at all. There was absolutely no air traffic. The silence was so strange. Arriving home to find the Blue Water Bridge, an international border, closed, even though expected, was just another reminder that things would be different now. Within 24 hours, my mom was calling asking that we come to Flint for the day. She wanted the family together, so we did. She said she wanted us to move home, she was scared about us living in a border city. Churches were filled after the attacks, patriotism was very high. Sadly, that is not the case anymore. So much has changed since then. We can’t just zip over the bridge for dinner, or to go to a park/petting zoo we liked, we have no passports, which are required now. Now that I think about it, I’m grateful that I wasn’t able to see the coverage as it happened. I do not have the image burned into my memory of watching people live, as it happened, make the choice between death from the fires, or death on the pavement below, and choosing to jump. I remember that while still in Shipshewana, after calling my own family, I called my friend Terri who at that time lived in New York, and whose husband worked at pne of the airports as an immigration inspector, because I was worried about them. She & I have never met in person, we met through a computer crafting group on the internet. Yet, we were good enough friends that I was compelled to check on them and be assured they were OK. Tney were. I’m lucky, I did not lose anyone that day. So very many were not so lucky. Ten years ago today, our nation was attacked, and I believe the fight to keep this kind of war outside of our borders, to fight them somewhere else so we won’t have to fit them here, is not going to end any time soon, if ever.

Canada Day

Tonight (well, ok, last night, since it’s now after midnight) I took the children down to the St. Clair River to see the fireworks Canada was doing. Had a pretty good time! I wanted to do it because we have plans on the fourth of July that interfere with going to those fireworks. It’s neat living in an international border city, we can have this option! Some years, we go to both.

So I can now wear a size 16W in many things. Not in jeans, they still have to be bigger, but I don’t really wear them that often, so no big deal.

On another note, the city has our street all torn up, so we are having such fun wondering from day to day if it will be difficult to get in and out of the driveway and/or street. And who knows how long that will be going on, though one of the workers claims it’ll just be a couple weeks. We’ll see…

Hey, spring!

Welcome spring! Hear the sarcasm there? Spring officially began this past Sunday, and we had a winter storm last night. It is so beyond time for winter to give it up and move on.

On the plus side, I’ve lost about 30 pounds since my surgery, to add to the 20 I had to lose before the surgery. The other day I cleaned out a whole load of stuff from my closet. None of it fits anymore. I’m down from a size 30 to a 22/24 in most things. I did have to buy a couple skirts and tops, and am getting a new swimsuit so I can exercise in the pool at the Y, but I’m not buying much as it will be too big in a short time.

I’m off of most of my Meds now, the only things left are thyroid and cholesterol pills, and my night time insulin.

So, hey, spring, let’s see you here…like now!

Three weeks post-op

I know, I said I’d be better about posting once I was past my surgery, but at first, I really wasn’t up to sitting at the computer desk, and was just really tired. I’m feeling better now, about 3 weeks out from surgery, plus my husband Mike bought me an iPad when the tax refund hit, so now I can blog right from my living room, or wherever, and not have to wait until I have time to sit in the office at the computer.

So, about surgery… The day before I was scheduled to check into the hospital, we took our kids to stay at my dearest friend’s home with her and her 3 children, where apparently they had a wonderful time. They are something of a handful, though, and she’ll be getting a pretty good thank you gift just because we love her even more for doing this. Anyway, from her house, which is about 2 1/2 hours NW of us, we then went about the same distance SE from her, to Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit, because I had an appointment for my final weigh in before surgery so they could see I was still at or below the weight I was at my scheduling appointment. I was a bit below it, so I was good to go for the next day. We went down to patient services to see if we could find out what time surgery would be instead of having to continue waiting for the phone call, and since they were about ready to call anyway they went ahead and told me I needed to come check into the hospital at 5:30am for surgery at 7:30am. We had reserved one of the on campus apartments for the night, so after finding a store to buy me some broth, we went back to the hospital to check into the apartment. We’d gotten up SO early to drive the kids to our friend’s home that we were exhausted, and actually went to bed at 8:00pm, setting the alarm for 3:30am, so Mike could have something to eat, and we could both get showers. We were checked in at the surgical lounge by 5:30, and it wasn’t all that long before I was taken back for prep. Mike was allowed to be there with me, until time to go to the operating room. Once they took me there, Mike went and checked us out of the apartment, as he was staying in my hospital room with me until I was discharged. My surgery took about an hour longer than expected because of my previous hysterectomy, the surgeon said there were a lot of adhesions, but the surgery did go well. While inside, they discovered what appeared to be some cirrhosis on the liver, so they took a biopsy. At my follow up with the surgeon two weeks later, he said it came back yes, that it is cirrhosis, but very early, that at this stage I’d just be told to lose weight, which is what the surgery will help me to do. At my one week post-op with my primary care physician, me blood pressure had been so good he had me stop taking the meds for that, and my blood sugar levels were so much better that he took me off my daytime insulin and lowered the night time one from 28 units to 12 units, pending my next appointment one month later, at which time he can re-assess.

I was told not to step on the scale for a couple of weeks, that I’d just get upset, because they pumped me so full of fluids the entire time I was in the hospital that my weight would actually be up, but of course I did it anyway, and they were right. But the fluid weight is gone now, and I’m starting to lose actual weight. I had to go out the other day and buy a belt, so I could wear what I have longer, LOL! I had to buy it in the big men’s section at K-mart, but that will change.

I’m on the road to saving my life, and that’s a very good thing.

One more day…

Well, it’s finally almost here!  My final pre-surgery weigh in is tomorrow, and my surgery is the next day. I’m so excited to finally be at this point! Tomorrow will be day 7 of my pre-surgery clear liquid diet, with the first six being allowed to add protein powder. It’s been a tough week, but it’s nearly over. It looks like we’ll have decent weather for the drive, anything bad should be holding off until after we are home from the hospital, so that’s a good thing.

We’ve spent today with last minute errands, straightening the house, and laundry, so that I can come home to it being already .

All that’s left is to finsh getting together everything they want me to bring to the hospital, and get a good night’s sleep!

More after surgery….

Day 2…

Coming toward the end of day 2 of my seven day clear liquid diet for surgical prep. I can have sugar free jello (made with protein powder), sugar free popsicles, low sodium broth,crystal light for six days, then the day before surgury, just the clear liquids, no protein.   As you might guess, this is FUN!!!!!! It will be worth it though, during the surgery and after. I’m getting tons of support from my HFH bariatric patient support group on yahoo, and from my CCU friends (the best home education yahoo group around!). 

The other day we had the guardianship hearing for our eldest son, who just turned 18. He is developmentally disabled, and cannot be on his own. It went well, we now have full guardianship that doesn’t expire, and a back up guardian who loves him and will take him, should something happen to us.  Now we just have to get to work on the legalities of making sure our other kids will go to her as well if something happens.  This is the same wonderful friend (or as we told the judge, “chosen family”) who will be keeping our children while I’m in the hospital.  (better pray for her, LOL!) I don’t have a lot to say no, but will try to really write about this particular journey after surgery, the good and bad, the changes I make, etc.

Getting closer!

Well, for all of my thinking about how it would be too long of a wait between my last consult when I received my surgery date and the actual date, it’s suddenly almost here! Of course, it was a long time to have to maintain the 20.2 pound weight loss, and of course I was not able to do it, so now I’m working on getting the last of it back off. My surgery is the 27th, with my weigh in on the 26th, and I’ve got 6.1 pounds to go, but I think it’ll be fine. I had more than that to lose a little over a week before my scheduling date and did it. All fast food is out of my life, and I’m buying a Ninja blender from Sam’s as soon as I can afford it, so I can make my own slurpees with my Crystal Light and protein powder. I like the Ninja because it’s not too large, and has several different functions. The one I will use for this crushes and shaves ice.

So, this past Monday was my oldest son’s birthday party. His actual birthday is on the 13th, but there was a museum exhibit he wanted to go to during his party which ends this Sunday, so we just did the party early.  For his party food, he chose chili dogs, chips, koolaid, and the chocolate/peanut butter cake for which I was a finalist in the Flint Journal Bake Off in 1995 (I think it was that year!). I pre-planned for myself so as not t self sabotage myself. I bought a Dole Salad Kit, & some individual sugar free jello cups. I determined ahead of time that I would have one chili dog, no chips, no cake or ice cream. Instead, with my one chili dog, I had salad, water, and for dessert I had my sugar free jello. And The following night when the kids wanted cake for dessert, I again did not have any. Yesterday was MY birthday, and I went to lunch at Olive Garden, where I had water with lemon, a stuffed mushroom appetizer, and the soup & salad special. No dessert. I asked Mike (my husband) if he and the kids would just please finish up the cake after their lunch while I was gone, though, because otherwise I might well have given in to temptation.  They had Dijourno’s Pizza for supper, and I had a salad with pecans & multiple kinds of berries in it. So really, two birthdays, and I did great, I think.

Today I ordered part of the protein powder I will need for the week before surgery (when I will be on clear liquid diet only, with protein powder for the first part of the week), and the month or so after, from unjury.com. I ordered the unflavored so I could use it in anything. I will have to order more, but couldn’t afford (today) to order all that  I will need. I ordered 4 cannisters, and will need at least 8 or 10 before being back on regular foods completely. I will need to take in at least 80 grams of protein per day.

I’m also re-reading the binder full of information I was given at the first meeting I went to about the surgery. Every time I read it I see something I missed the first time, so it’s a good thing to do.

Now that the actual date of surgery is so close, i’m feeling excited about it, and nervous about it, too. I’m not looking forward to that week before surgery, but I’m so looking forward to after!

Been a while…

So, it’s been a while since I’ve put anything on here. I often don’t really feel I have anything very interesting to say, so I neglect to come and just write.

It’s just past Thanksgiving, and we had a nice time. My cousin Kathy and her little boys came for the holiday, as is becoming a very nice tradition. Instead of doing all the prep and cooking, etc, my husband suggested I take it as a less stressful day and just order a pre-made meal from one of our local stores, so I did! It was very good, cost considerably less, and reheating everything took a total of two hours (turkey, spiral sliced ham, loads of sides). I’m thinking this may become a nice tradition, too!  I even bought foil baking pans for everything to help with clean up.

As I feared would happen, though, I have regained part of the weight I lost before my surgery consult, so I now have to get back on the wagon and be tough on myself. I have until January 26, 2011, which is my pre-surgery weigh in to get it back off.  I can do it, I did it before, it’s just tough. I’ll need to dump about 14 pounds. I’ll be doing the meal replacement protein bars and protein powder, lots of fruits and veggies that are mostly water, drinking tons of water, being careful again about my portion sized, etc.  And I need to get back on the wagon with the exercise DVD’s. It’s getting close. I’m nervous, but excited.

I did it!!!

My surgeon at Henry Ford Hospital told me I had to lose 15 – 20 pounds before my surgery was scheduled, and I did it! Today was the day I went back for my second consult to schedule my surgery, and I had lost 20.2 pounds, plus my a1c blood test went from 11.2 down to 7.4, so he is very pleased that my diabetes is becoming better controlled, something that was necessary before scheduling. I do intend to lose some extra over the next few months just so I can have a “little bit” of leeway over Thanksgiving, though.

Of course, we knew that it would be scheduled for after the first of the year, because my husband has no more paid benefit days until then, but even if we didn’t have to consider that, the first opening the surgeon had was not until December anyway. So, I will be having my mandatory pre-surgery weigh in on Wednesday January 26, 2011, and my surgery on Thursday January 27, 2011.

There are so many things I’m looking forward to! I’m looking forward to having my diabetes be in remission. I’m looking forward to being able to stop taking all of my meds except for my thyroid medication (that won’t change). I’m looking forward to not needing the a/c to be kept as low as it is because the heat won’t bother me as much and I’ll be able to breathe better. I’m looking forward to being able to buy clothing in a regular size store instead of plus size. I’m looking forward to seeing a pretty crochet sweater pattern and realizing I can make it for myself and it will fit.

Things I will not miss…I will not miss giving myself a shot of insulin four times a day. I will not miss feeling exhausted from walking a short distance. I will not miss having my priority in clothing purchases be that they are big enough, regardless of style. I will not miss needing a seat belt extender whenever I wear a coat. There are so many things that I can’t even think of them all right now!

So, this is the next step to my new, healthy me, and I’m starting to realize I can do this, one step at a time.

Crunch time!

My scheduling appointment at Henry Ford Hospital is fast approaching, it’s August 20. I have not managed to both lose the 15 pounds they want me to lose AND keep it off.  I’ve lost and regained it at least twice, which is discouraging, and is the reason I need the surgery in the first place! This is making me feel like a failure yet again.  My HAP nurse who calls me every Thursday is helping me. Today she went over some of my choices I’ve been thinking were OK and showed me why they aren’t right now.  She wants me to continue the exercise DVD’s, but only until the 18th, and to lay off cheese, pickles, lunch meat, anything with salt in it until after my appointment, and to try really hard to stay off the scale as much as I can, too, so I don’t get discouraged. Tonight I made spaghetti with ground turkey, heart smart prego, mushrooms and onions, which she said was a good choice as long as I didn’t put grated cheese on it (difficult for me, but I managed), and to weigh the spaghetti noodles to get a correct serving amount (2 ounces!), and check the serving size for the sauce (1/2 cup!). I did do this, and it was just fine, though as soon as we can afford it I will be replacing our dishes so the plates will have a smaller eating surface. So between now and the 20th I will be upping the amount of water I drink, taking my water pill EVERY day, eating breakfast,  replacing lunch with my cut up protein bar and 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce, a sensibly portioned supper, and a protein powder drink if I need something between supper and bedtime.

I’ve decided to become a Mary Kay lady. I really like the product a lot, and I feel so much better about myself when I use it. My self image stinks, and has done so for a lot of years, so it’s nice to have something that helps me in that area, and nice that my husband wants to support me in doing this.  I’m hoping to sign up within the next couple weeks.

Prayers for real success between now and the 20th would be so appreciated, I really want to leave my appointment with my surgery scheduled, even though we have to have it scheduled for after the first of the year due to time/money constraints.